Feeling Rosey

I was at a concert last night and I ran into Brett Michaels back stage. He was about to go on and perform “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.” I asked if they were going to use any keyboards, and Brett said they planned to just do guitar and drums. I saw a big Hammond B-3 and some Leslie’s in the wings and said if they’d roll that onto the stage I’d just provide a mellow “G – C (add a ninth).” Brett said that would be cool, so I went on with them for that one song.

We got a standing ovation. I really couldn’t see too well over the tall Hammond, but I think people were throwing flowers on the stage.

As I walked off, Axl Rose grabbed me by the arm. He insisted that I play drums for “Paradise City” since he'd fired Steven Adler.

I explained I didn’t know how to play drums, but Axl demanded and said it is an easy beat. So I started out with the simple bass – snare with a double bass beat every fourth measure and a sort of triple bass off the beat in the last bar.

Everything was going so well … then the song began to pick up. All the players kept turning to me and motioning for me to pick it up and add some more … I don’t know what … I guess “drums.”

I was clueless. I told Axl I didn’t play drums. Why didn’t he believe me? Then the audience began to throw things at me and they weren't flowers. I ducked a tomato as a whole cabbage sailed past my shoulder. Now I really wished I’d taken those drum lessons my parents insisted I take.

But nooooooooo, I wouldn't listen to my parents. I wanted to be a rebel. I had to take piano lessons. Now what was I gonna do?

Then I woke up!