John Prine Jesus the Missing Years

In 1991 Prine released the Grammy Award-winning album “The Missing Years,” his first collaboration with producer and bassist Howie Epstein. The title song records Prine's humorous take on what Jesus did in the unrecorded years between his childhood and his ministry. The song later reappeared on the live album, “Live on Tour,” in 1997.

If you listen carefully you will notice many of John’s compositions include his view of religion. “God Only Knows,” “When I Get Heaven,” “Whistle & Fish,” even “Paradise.” There’s even an article called “John Prine's Images of God and Male Melancholia: Terror, Forgiveness, and the Persistence of Desire” in the “Journal of Religion and Health.” I guess I’m not the only one that has noticed.

Some poets, or in this case, a singer-songwriter, can get into trouble. No wonder Plato wanted to exile them from his Republic. These poets are like a force of nature tending towards disorder, challenging what we see, asking questions no one wants asked. It’s Warren Zevon declaring “I was born to rock the boat” (from “Mutineer”) and Bob Dylan declaring, “the sun’s not yellow, it’s chicken.”

Along comes John Prine asking questions and poking fun at Jesus or at least the common notions of Jesus and you know that’s trouble. It’s why our parents got so upset about the music we listened to.

In concert, Prine introduces this song with some humorous patter about his latter day discovery that there were these missing years in Jesus’ life. Anyone who pays attention knows this, but most glide right past the point. The Bible describes Jesus’ childhood that takes him to age 12, then he steps off stage and we hear nothing from him again until he’s thirty.

No one asks too many questions about what Jesus was doing all those years. If pressed, most Christians might answer that Jesus hung out in Nazareth with his family, perhaps working as a carpenter with his Dad. (Johnny Cash intones a song called “Jesus was a Carpenter.” “Jesus was a carpenter/And he worked with a saw and a hammer/And his hands could form a table strong enough to stand forever.”)

So John Prine lets the idea of the missing years roll around in his head for a while until he does what a songwriter does: he turns those musings into a song. If there are no facts, he imagines some truth, has some fun, lets loose a little whimsy as he imagines a life for the young Jesus. You might want to ground yourself before reading the lyrics as the lightning bolts might fly if you say them too loud. Or you just might consider that our Lord has a good sense of humor. Anyway, I assume John’s up there now, and I’ll bet they’re having a good laugh about …

(spoken) Jesus… the missing years

It was raining. It was cold
West Bethlehem was no place for a twelve year old
So he packed his bags and he headed out
To find out what the world's about

He went to France. He went to Spain
He found love. He found pain.
He found stores so he started to shop
But he had no money so he got in trouble with a cop

Kids in trouble with the cops
From Israel didn't have no home
So he cut his hair and moved to Rome
It was there he met his Irish bride
And they rented a flat on the lower east side of Rome…Italy that is
Music publishers, book binders, Bible belters, Money Changers,
Spoon Benders, and lots of pretty Italian chicks.

Chorus:

Charley bought some popcorn
Billy bought a car
Someone almost bought the farm
But they didn't go that far
Things shut down at midnight
At least around here they do
Cause we all reside down the block
Inside at 23 Skidoo.

Wine was flowing so were beers
So Jesus found his missing years
He went to a dance and said "This don't move me"
He hiked up his pants and he went to a movie

On his thirteenth birthday he saw "Rebel without a Cause"
He went straight on home and invented Santa Claus
Who gave him a gift and he responded in kind
He gave the gift of love and went out of his mind

You see him and the wife wasn't getting along
So he took out his guitar and he wrote a song
Called "The Dove of Love Fell Off the Perch"
But he couldn't get divorced in the Catholic Church

At least not back then anyhow
Jesus was a good guy he didn't need this shit
So he took a pill with a bag of peanuts and
A Coca-Cola and he swallowed it.

He discovered the Beatles
And he recorded with the Stones
Once He even opened up a three-way package
In Southern California for old George Jones

Repeat Chorus:

Charley bought some popcorn
Billy bought a car
Someone almost bought the farm
But they didn't go that far
Things shut down at midnight
At least around here they do
Cause we all reside down the block
Inside at 23 Skidoo.

The years went by like sweet little days
With babies crying pork chops and beaujolais
When he woke up he was seventeen
The world was angry, the world was mean
Well, the man down the street and the kid on the stoop
All agreed that life stank, all the world smelled like poop
Baby poop that is, the worst kind.

So he grew his hair long and thew away his comb
Headed back to Jerusalem to find mom, dad and home
But when he got there the cupboard was bare
Except for an old black man with a fishing rod
He said "Whatcha gonna be when you grow up?"
Jesus said, "God"
Oh my God, what have I gotten myself into?
I'm a human corkscrew, all my wine is blood
They're gonna kill me mama, they don't like me bud.

So Jesus went to Heaven
And he went there awful quick
All them people killed him
And he wasn't even sick

So come and gather around me
My contemporary peers
And I'll tell you all the story of Jesus
The missing years.

Repeat Chorus:

Charley bought some popcorn
Billy bought a car
Someone almost bought the farm
But they didn't go that far
Things shut down at midnight
At least around here they do
Cause we all reside down the block
Inside at 23 Skidoo.

Spanish Pipe Dream

As I grow older, my memory seems to fade. I can’t recall all the things I used to think, and often do dumb things without knowing it. As I gathered up materials to write about my favorite John Prine songs (and I know it is a long list … I have a lot of favorites), I skipped right over this one. I was looking at song titles and singing the tunes in my head. When I saw "Spanish Pipe Dream" it didn’t ring a bell. I didn’t find that title very inviting.

Then, almost by accident, as I played some of my Prine “Albums” (can you call them that when you are playing them on Apple Music ((which was called iTunes until they changed it))) and I heard this song again. I just didn’t connect the title to this song I really like. So I added it to my list to write about.

(I do have a list. I’ll bet you are wondering when I will finish. Well, I think I’m about half way. It is a LONG list.)

Here’s what John says about this song:

“I wrote this when I started performing. I thought the first song of the show should be up and bouncy. I can only play two rhythms—fast and slow—so this was written to go with my fast bouncy rhythm.”

“Originally, the chorus wasn’t about blowing up your TV. It was something about the girls forgetting to take the pill, but sunk pretty low after that first great verse. I sounded like Loretta Lynn singing about ‘the pill.’ Then I got the line ‘blow up your TV.’ I used to keep a small bowl of real fine pebbles that I picked up on my mail route, and if somebody said something really stupid on TV I’d throw some at the screen."

This was written and originally released by John Prine on his self-titled debut album. John Denver recorded a famous cover version on his 1971 album, “Aerie.”

The song is about a soldier who meets a topless dancer who tells him it is good to live simply: "Blow up your TV, throw away your paper, go to the country, build you a home." They both end up living by that advice. You could even add this song to John’s religious theme if you notice the right lines.

Spanish Pipe Dream

She was a level-headed dancer on the road to alcohol
And I was just a soldier on my way to Montreal
Well, she pressed her chest against me
About the time the jukebox broke
Yeah, she gave me a peck on the back of the neck
And these are the words she spoke

Blow up your TV, throw away your paper
Go to the country, build you a home
Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches
Try and find Jesus on your own

Well, I sat there at the table and I acted real naive
For I knew that topless lady had something up her sleeve
Well, she danced around the bar room and she did the hoochy-coo
Yeah, she sang her song all night long, tellin' me what to do

Blow up your TV, throw away your paper
Go to the country, build you a home
Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches
Try and find Jesus on your own

Well, I was young and hungry and about to leave that place
When just as I was leavin', well she looked me in the face
I said "you must know the answer"
She said, "no, but I'll give it a try"
And to this very day we've been livin' our way
And here is the reason why

We blew up our TV, threw away our paper
Went to the country, built us a home
Had a lot of children, fed 'em on peaches
They all found Jesus on their own

It's a Big Old Goofy World

John Prine was sitting with his mother in the kitchen once and they were looking at some magazine or puzzle book that was full of idioms and similes such as “cold as ice” or “fit as a fiddle” or “drinks like a fish.” His mother and he had a good time coming up with their own common expressions and out of that foolery came this song.

I compare John Prine to Mark Twain. It is easy to make the connection between Mark Twain, the nineteenth-century writer and lecturer, and John. Like Twain, Prine views the world with joy and pity — with humor and disdain. While Twain utilizes literary techniques to advance his impressions, Prine’s musical compositions demonstrate his unique outlook. Perhaps foreshadowed by Bob Dylan, today’s poets often materialize as singer/songwriters.

Prine’s observations of the world around him reflect the attitudes and practices of modern American culture. His views on love, social issues, politics, and religion are presented in a vernacular language that is made accessible by melodies that are both poignant and memorable.

Prine’s song, It’s a Big Old Goofy World is a microcosm of his world view.

As he riffs on the silly similes, he tells the story of a happy couple. So happy they’re dancing. It’s a fun song, like many of John’s compositions. A simple tune to make you all feel happy.

John can legitimately be regarded as a Country singer and musician. He gravitated toward Nashville as evidence of that. My personal tastes run more to Folk music, and I can make a case for John as Folk artist too. (I could do the same for Dylan.) That works for me!

Folk music can be measured by the ability of regular folks to perform it, and most Prine songs can easily be performed and appreciated with voice and guitar and still retain their essence. Though the words may be complex, the simplicity of the music makes the songs accessible. You don’t have to be a great singer to do Prine. At least that’s my excuse.

When I hear this song, I think the Big Old Goofy Man is John himself. Maybe he’s dancing with his mom, or maybe with his wife. You know they all shared his vision: It’s a Big Old Goofy World. Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. This morning that’s my mission: to laugh to keep from crying.

Whether Folk or Country, this song is just fun. It could even be classified as kid’s music, the kind you hear in a Daycare. (Guess you folks didn’t know I’ve spent time in a Daycare, and I don’t mean as a kid! Yes I have.)

So let’s all sing along with John. After all, it IS a

… “A Big Old Goofy World"

Up in the morning
Work like a dog
Is better than sitting
Like a bump on a log

Mind all your manners
Be quiet as a mouse
Some day you'll own a home
That's as big as a house

I know a fella
He eats like a horse
Knocks his old balls
Round the old golf course

You oughta see his wife
She's a cute little dish
She smokes like a chimney
And drinks like a fish

There's a big old goofy man
Dancing with a big old goofy girl
Ooh baby
It's a big old goofy world

Now Elvis had a woman
With a head like a rock
I wished I had a woman
That made my knees knock

She'd sing like an angel
And eat like a bird
And if I wrote a song
She'd know ever single word

There's a big old goofy man
Dancing with a big old goofy girl
Ooh baby (sing like Elvis)
It's a big old goofy world

(Bridge — for you Folk players)

Kiss a little baby
Give the world a smile
If you take an inch
Give 'em back a mile

Cause if you lie like a rug
And you don't give a damn
You're never gonna be
As happy as a clam

So I'm sitting in a hotel
Trying to write a song
My head is just as empty
As the day is long

Why it's clear as a bell
I should have gone to school
I'd be wise as an owl
Stead of stubborn as a mule.

And there's a big old goofy man
Dancing with a big old goofy girl
Ooh baby
It's a big old goofy world

Ooh baby
It's a big old goofy world